i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
