Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
