she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
How does one acquire holy water?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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