glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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