Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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