spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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