just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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