I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
