maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
