I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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