Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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