ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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