i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He? As in you personified your dick?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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