can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
