were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
