Plan B is the new Plan A
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
