Umm I'm too high to move.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
