i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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