Apparently you make a good broom.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
