Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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