U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
