the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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