You're a womanizer and a bitch.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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