What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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