peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
