it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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