hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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