No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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