Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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