Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
There r osticjed everywhere
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
