This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
