Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
then he tried to convert me to islam
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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