I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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