he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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