Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
