Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
