About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
