Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
