clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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