I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
