Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
