Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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