i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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