Will you blow on my dice?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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