is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
