I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You can't special order awesome
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
