false alarm. still invincible.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
