At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
