I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
