look no pants
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
she peed on how many people?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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