Jerry, you need to find god
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
