I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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