Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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