i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
