the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
