Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
