He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
