I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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