Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
