if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize