Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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