I'm eating all of the evidence.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
