I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
