I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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